The concept of fairness is a hugely deceptive one. From very early years it is drilled into our psyches as a method to control and exhibit equilibrium in our relationships towards everyone who surrounds us. From candy to space in a house, the cricket field, and in virtually every other aspect of our lives.
I have huge trouble abiding with the phenomenon if it is not mutual. Truth is most of the times its not. Like for example me driving around in a car is not fair for someone sitting on a bench waiting for a bus, me driving a modest car as compared to someone with a fancy car is also not fair. This is just one way of looking at this. I can come up with innumerable other ones.
What prompted this blog was the sleepless nights I've had to endure, like this one where I could not stop thinking how ridiculously unfair my life has been. I bothers me a lot that I am probably the only one of all my friends who has never ever been conceited of my achievements, jealous of others. I have never wanted to hurt someone intentionally and have felt horrible if I mistakenly ever did. Where did I go so horribly wrong.
If there's anything I want the most today is a friend, make a few more than one. People I can relate to, or perhaps people who can drag me out of me and my thoughts. I am tired of being alone, tired of having every person I get a little attached to snatched away. I can be strong only to a limit, I can be patient no more. I wish to be tested no more.
FYI: This is a momentary lapse in emotion. I am not suffering from any sort of depression, just honest about how I feel this particular moment.
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