I have finally done it. Finally spoken up and gotten what I needed. I certainly didn't want to give up our sweet little thing but I had ceased to be able to define it in a real way. That is why I am referring to it as a thing and not a relationship.
I have been up all night trying to feel lonely, saddened or be affected by this any way possible. Turns out over the years I have sort of developed some thick skin, and I am not just talking metaphorically. It could have not sunk in well enough for me to feel it yet too.
I have loved Bubbu more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. I have no Idea why? She was pretty mean to me most times and I had such a hard time getting out of silly things I had said that somehow offended her. She thought I was manipulative trying to get out of these silly fights/things, which would lead me into greater trouble. She also believed I was very self centered. According to her my love for her was all because I knew someday it would help me end up with her. I would always wonder if there was any truth in it. I deduced she was pretty spot-on about her observation. But then who is not selfish about a thing like that or most other things as well.
I don't think any one except for my parents love me unconditionally. My parents are amazing people. I especially am very fond of my father. He is the nicest man I have known. Around him I am the most defensive. I am so because I always know I will never be as good a person he is and it makes me mad to know that he does it so seamlessly. I realize I digress.
I am gonna cut short again because I am just very tired and sleepy. Big story short, what is happening right now, blows.
I have been up all night trying to feel lonely, saddened or be affected by this any way possible. Turns out over the years I have sort of developed some thick skin, and I am not just talking metaphorically. It could have not sunk in well enough for me to feel it yet too.
I have loved Bubbu more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. I have no Idea why? She was pretty mean to me most times and I had such a hard time getting out of silly things I had said that somehow offended her. She thought I was manipulative trying to get out of these silly fights/things, which would lead me into greater trouble. She also believed I was very self centered. According to her my love for her was all because I knew someday it would help me end up with her. I would always wonder if there was any truth in it. I deduced she was pretty spot-on about her observation. But then who is not selfish about a thing like that or most other things as well.
I don't think any one except for my parents love me unconditionally. My parents are amazing people. I especially am very fond of my father. He is the nicest man I have known. Around him I am the most defensive. I am so because I always know I will never be as good a person he is and it makes me mad to know that he does it so seamlessly. I realize I digress.
I am gonna cut short again because I am just very tired and sleepy. Big story short, what is happening right now, blows.
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